January 9, 2012 § 9 Comments

A few things for all you fine people and then you can get back to your finery. I have a post up at An Army of Ermas: How To Feel More Like Indiana Jones In Your Everyday Life. You may read it here. Maybe the following photo is involved in some capacity.

Updates on My Year of Scary Living because I’m very serious about living scary.

1. I started researching venues in my area where I might be able to do standup. There’s a whole world and process I’m ignorant to so educating myself on how to get a foot in the door is important. 

2. I am writing the standup material and say it/work it out in my mind ALL THE TIME. This results in varying questions and thoughts: Will my parents care if I talk about them? Will my parents even come? Should I tell my parents I’m doing this? No, they really don’t need to know. I won’t tell them. This is a great idea. Maybe no one I know in real life should come? I’ll keep it a secret. No, if I bomb I’ll want someone to hold me afterward and that shouldn’t be some rando at the bar. Preferably. Well, if I’m crying hard enough I won’t care who’s holding me.

3. The guitar playing is still pretty scary and painful. My pinky finger SUCKS. It totally needs to shape up or I will WHOOP on it. I don’t know what the ring finger is laughing at. It’s right there behind the pinky finger. The entire hand cramps up and that’s just inconvenient. STUPID HANDS. I’m kidding. I love you, hands. Don’t leave me.

4. My 3yo went to school just fine. He didn’t cry and his teachers said he did great. Go him! I spent two glorious hours “at the office.”

5. I bought a navy peacoat. The buttons are shiny and fabulous. I’d like for everyone to call me “Sailor” from here on out.  For those of you who don’t care that I’ve replaced my granny cardigan with a peacoat, I’m very sorry BUT THESE ARE MY FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

6. To add to my Year of Scary Living, the Stud and I are going Vegan for a while. He has a history of heart disease, high blood pressure and bad cholesterol in his (very immediate) family. He’s on medication for it some of the issues, but we’d like to achieve the healthiest of livings possible. We’ve done a lot of research and are planning on doing a 30 day challenge and see what we think afterward. It will be a food adventure of sorts. I say all this, but just last night while watching a documentary on ancient Rome, we shared a bag of chips and cheese dip.

Me: We’ll go Vegan tomorrow.

Him: Totally.   

6. I think I’m done now.

7. I love you all.

8. Bye.

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§ 9 Responses to HAND CHECK

  • Anna Lefler says:

    Okay, I love this post and my (unsolicited) advice is to definitely have your peeps there the first time you do standup! OMG, yes. Those whoops from friends/family/lovers/debtors will be your lifeline.

    Obviously, you will do great, but still…nice to have a warm room.

    I love your danger, lady! You inspire me!



  • Patty says:

    Still laughing…

  • Jen Stayrook says:

    How did you know my garage door was broken and that’s how I start my day? I’m on to you, Harley May. I see your ways.

    Also: Hand/finger stretches. Sounds crazy, but they work.

  • Well, sounds like you’ve got a lot going on there. I can do, and have done radio – nnno Problem, Stand-up? now That’s hardcore, right there in front of God & Everybody stuff. I salute you

    Guitar – Don’t remind me. I have been so remiss in practicing/learning for so long. Yeah that pinky is a tough one to train but really valuable once it gets usable. (& really hard to callous because its used so much less than the others)

    Go You & the studd – Eat that rabbit food – Save yer hearts.

    Thanks for this

  • Anne Riley says:

    I can’t wait to read your Ermas post. And tell me how the vegan thing goes!

  • All your new adventures sound envious. Except the vegan thang. Yeah. That. But good luck — I am trying to eat healthy as well and it makes me wanna punch people in the face. But we can do. Us broads can.

    We can.

  • Kara says:

    We are doing, no dairy, refined sugar, gluten, grains, caffeine, soy, or processed foods !!!!! We need to compare recipes

  • Kiersten Marek says:

    Great piece, great humor. Nice language.

  • Kiersten Marek says:

    Reblogged this on Therapy with Kiersten Marek, LICSW and commented:
    I’m reading more fiction and other kinds of writers these days, and have come across the works of Harley May, who is both funny and spot-on in her insights about daily living.

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