Fear and Other Pleasantries
October 3, 2011 § 16 Comments
Lovely blog readers, I’d like to direct you to a new link on the left side of the home page titled “Published Work.” After years of writing and submitting, I finally have a short story acceptance forthcoming in Quail Bell Magazine.
I am struck with moments of “YIPPY SKIPPPY.”
And then I’m attacked with moments of “PEOPLE ARE GOING TO READ THIS. MY FICTION WILL BE PUBLISHED FOR THE WORLD TO SEE AND POSSIBLY HATE.” I break out into a cold sweat and begin to weep. Oh the gnashing and snarling. It isn’t pretty.
Until now, all the writing I’ve linked to is non-fiction/mommy humor variety (Like the ghost story I have up at An Army of Ermas now. “Ghosts” are the theme of the month and I really don’t like ghost stories. Mama scares easy. Yes, I just referred to myself as “Mama”).
But with this short story acceptance, I MADE IT UP IN MY MIND, and people might hate what my mind made up. I wrote it two years ago for a competition I lost and it doesn’t even sound like me anymore. I can’t tell if that’s a good or a bad thing.
I want to do things that scare me, to tackle the unknown head on. I did that this weekend by way of going to my high school reunion. Might not sound that horrifying to you, but my senior year of high school was an interesting one – I was a new girl.
Fear. It was a fearful year in so many ways and for the reunion I was afraid no one would remember me and I would feel awkward or out-of-place, which is how I felt the majority of my senior year. But you know what? I had a wonderful time. People remembered me and were genuinely kind. My husband seemed to have a nice time too.
I’m going to keep doing things that scare me, to get over my fears, and myself. People might not like my short story, but I enjoyed the process. That’s good enough for me.
I know I’m not the only writer who is afraid. How do you all get over your fear and anxiety?
Also, if you’re afraid of clowns, I suggest you watch this to get over it. Yes.