Bad Blogger

January 19, 2010 § 7 Comments


I’m a bad blogger, but trying to improve myself. There isn’t one theme I’m going for here. I want to talk about what I love: writing, books, marriage, children, humor, and anything that interests me. One of my earliest post was a satirical piece on nudists colonies. I’ve since deleted it after my pastor said, “Reading your blog is an amusing and horrifying thing.” My son and I were at his house one afternoon and I had to use the restroom (this will make sense in a second). Artfully written on the bathroom walls were beautiful literary quotes. I commented on how brilliant they were.

“We’re always looking for new ones,” he ventured.

“I thought my lines scared you,” I said.

“I think I’ve given you the wrong impression. I like your scariness…uh, mostly.”

So the Nudist post might make a comeback, I haven’t decided. Anyway, the majority of my blogging errors came from ignorance. Through trial, error, and watching more successful blogs in action, I am educating myself on proper blog etiquette.

My biggest blog boo boo to date has occurred when other writers are kind enough to have me on their blog and I don’t mention it on mine. How will my vast readership (cough) know about my friends or what I’m writing on their lovely blogs? They won’t. The fabulous Carol Valdez Miller hosted me months ago for a delightful character interview series. Please read her post on interviewing characters and my interview with my main character, Penelope, at your leisure.

Jamey and I have since played blog tag, but the very first time he hosted me, I also forgot to mention here.

Another area I’ve neglected are the lovely blog awards people have so kindly bestowed on me. Personally, I think that any award rendered to me is undeserved because of the situations listed above. Carol gave me two and Anne Riley gave me another. I believe with each award you’re supposed to list 5 things about yourself. 3 awards by 5 random tidbits equals out to 15 random bits of information about me. That’s a lot. I’ll see what I can do.

1.)    I hate bugs. Butterflies and caterpillars are okay, anything else I’ve got a big problem with. Reptiles are cool with me, I have no problem handling lizards, frogs, toads, and even snakes. If a bug flies into my realm of being, I scream like a little girl and flail about. This fear didn’t improve when I was bit by a spider a year ago. I went to the doctor, showed them this weird sore and they told me it was a brown recluse bite. I almost died. That’s a lie, but it was inconvienant.

2.)    I’ve been in many car accidents, none of which were my fault. The most recent happened almost 2 years ago. I was pregnant with my third child, we’d just bought a new mini-van on ebay (that’s right, ebay), and a drunk driver rammed into the side twice while it was parked in our driveway. That was fun.

3.)    I was a Girl Scout and went to Girl Scout camp when I was 8. We went on hike up a mountain. It was steep and rocky; I lost my balance and fell down the mountain. Rolled would be the more accurate description. I stood up crying and looked down at myself expecting to see my bones broken through my skin, but was completely unharmed.

4.)    I faint a lot. I have a pretty high tolerance for pain, but show me a lot of blood and the lady will swoon. My mother is a nurse and my brother an EMT. They give iv’s and stare at guts all day. Me? If I see you draw blood from a needle I will pass out in that chair. It’s happened.

5.)    I’m pretty athletic, but my natural walking coordination is horrible. I run into furniture, stub my toe on nothing, it isn’t pretty. This is probably more of a focus problem than anything else. While playing sports, my attention is on the game. If I’m walking, my mind is zillion other places. I’m actually quite coordinated when drinking. I walk in straight lines and turn corners at a 90-degree angle because I don’t want to look like a drunken idiot. It’s all about the focus. If I could apply that determination to my everyday walking, I’d be a lot less bruised. Or I should be drunk all the time.

6.)    This next confession is something I’m not proud of. I’ve kept it quiet for a long time. It isn’t something I intended to happen, but it did. I’m sorry to those of you it will hurt, but I’m just going to come out and say it. I like the Jonas Brothers. As a hard-rock/alternative loving chick, this ruins any musical street cred I might have. The Jonas Brothers just kind of happened upon me. I was flipping through the radio, when I landed on the awesome guitar solo at the end of “Love Bug.” Say what you want, but that song is awesome and they write their own music. I’ve spoon fed all forms of musical royalty to my children. At family night karaoke, my 4-year-old daughter requests “Hey Jude.” The karaoke person always asks, “She knows that’s a 8 minute song, right?” “Don’t insult her, she knows.” I’m just thankful she stopped requesting “I Want You So Bad.”

7.)    I think men look great in girly colors. I wish it were Easter every day. Put my husband in a lavender shirt and matching tie, I swoon. In a good way. Men need to suck it up and put on the salmon.  

8.)     I have a hard time finishing things.

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§ 7 Responses to Bad Blogger

  • Dan Krokos says:

    OMG A REAL BROWN RECLUSE? THEY TURN YOUR FLESH INTO ZOMBIE FLESH. SAW IT ON THE DISCOVERY CHANNEL.

  • Simon says:

    I sometimes have a hard time fini

  • Carolina says:

    Harley, you are so adorable. Bad blogger, indeed. Ha! Since the first blog post I read of yours, I was hooked. I think all of us new to the blogosphere are learning how to work this thing (I mean, I’m only now realizing that faery is the fantasy spelling and has nothing to do with your accent!! Hahahahaha!) Nobody knows what they’re doing. And I’m pretty sure there aren’t any written rules–so don’t you beat yourself up. BUT, I love that you shared more of yourself with us. I now have a pretty clear picture of you as a clumsy, bruised, fainting, bug hater. Perfect…I like you all the more (especially because I am also a clumsy, bruised, fainting bug hater–dude, we’re in total sync). And I should add one more thing: “Love bug” is a totally rad song. The Jonas Brothers rule.

  • Lorena says:

    Hey Jude is really 8 minutes long?

    I think musical street cred is increased when you like a pop/mainstream band. It means that you recognize some music is just meant to be enjoyed and not studied. That said, I have not heard Jonas Brothers (and been aware of it), so they may actually be worth studying. Not that I’m musically cool enough to be able to determine if someone’s worth studying.

  • Maribeth says:

    This was so funny. I see a lot of myself in the things you wrote. I too like a man in lavendar, pink is pretty hot too.

  • Mercedes says:

    You are wonderful and beautiful and clever and witty and fantastic and creative and your Pastor surely enjoys you. Just like my Bishop kindly looks away when I show up to teach Sunday School wearing combat boots and blue pigtails.

    Let’s be dear friends forever and ever. And ever.

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