How to be a Twitter Floozy
January 12, 2010 § 21 Comments
All aspiring floozies of the world need guidance. It’s not an easy task, and for the young ladies with ambitions to become the next Girls Next Door, way to DREAM BIG. All or nothing, baby, you go get that wrinkly old man. Building an appropriate web platform is the key to getting you there and twitter is a great tool for this. Here are a few steps to insure your Floozy success.
1.) You’ll need an awesome avatar. If you haven’t got the goods to flaunt, find somebody else’s lady jingles. Your picture should be provocative, yet flirty. This depends on what level of nasty you’re going for. If you plan on setting up a webcam, (more on that later) I’d pick the non-shirt your father would burn if he saw you wearing it.
2.) In your website portion (if you aren’t going the webcam route) list your myspace page. I know, everyone says facebook is the bigger deal now but you are nothing but fancy and what says class better than myspace?
3.) In your bio line, keep it simple (don’t want to make it too complicated for the fellows). Your best bet is to say something like “I just can’t keep my clothes on.”
4.) If you do plan on making an official website with webcam and need help with this sort of thing, I’ve always found the gentlemen who work at Best Buy extremely helpful in these types of situations. They’re more than happy to set it up for you and install your webcam, free of charge! Unless their manager Jody is there. If that’s the case head over to the mall and ask somebody at a cell phone kiosk. They don’t have much to do once they get off work.
5.) Finally, follow men! All of them. Single, married, whatever, just follow them. If they follow you back (and why wouldn’t they) send them a fun DM. Tell them you love to flirt and offer a free month’s subscription to the webcam.
6.) In the open twitter news feed, use as many “OMG,” “LOL,” “YAY,” and hearty emoticons imaginable. Tell people when you’re going to take a shower. Be sure to post special webcam promos around Christmas. This will insure your rise to twitter flooziness.
If you’re interested in How to be a Twitter Creep, check out something I wrote on Jamey Stegmaier’s blog.